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What they don't understand is that the draw is not the orgasm . A good GFE is't just a blowjob, it's all the bells and whistles leading up to it. I'm not arguing for married men to seek out whores to fulfill their sense of masculinity. I'm trying to explain to wives just why a man might consider doing such a thing when he has a loving, sexually permissive wife at home.

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But every now and then I'll explain something in private to one of my readers and it occurs to me that perhaps others might like the same cosmic wisdom about their relationships.First, consider your husband's position: Once upon a time, he met a really cute girl (you), who for whatever reason laughed at his jokes and made eyes at him and then unexpectedly did that thing in that place and it blew his freaking mind enough so he didn't hesitate to call you.After that, he was in a dopamine-soaked haze, dripping with testosterone and starlight whenever the image of your face came to mind.You might remember it differently, but likely he thought the first sex (or maybe the third -- sometimes it takes a few to find the memorable one) you had together was AMAZING, so amazing he started considering what it would be like to spend the rest of his life with that naughty vixen.Sure, he was in the throes of infatuation -- likely you were too.Here's the thing about bringing the GFE into your marriage. You must initiate it, and figure out when the best time to pounce is.

He can't ask for it, any more than you can ask for a dozen red roses or jewelry, or it doesn't count. Yes, that requires recourse to calendars and schedules and such. No talk about work, kids, school, friends, family, symptoms, your problems, your hectic schedule, your impossible workload -- once you commit to a GFE, it's all about how much you think of him. But don't talk to him like a wife, treat him like a hot new boyfriend you really want to impress.

So prepare for me to lay some Cosmic Wisdom on you, Ladies: I know a few whores. Now, I've never patronized a prostitute myself, but I have a lot of respect for those who treat it as a vocation, not a mere meal ticket.

Not a lot, but a few -- there were four brothels represented at last year's AVN show, and the ladies like to talk shop as much as any professional woman. Ironwood found them fascinating (she trusts me, but not so much that she's going to let me go to a porn convention in Vegas without her. ) In any case, these aren't just Professional women, they're professional Women. (If you haven't seen Firefly, and understood what a Companion is, then you might not understand the distinction.) But the bread-and-butter for these ladies of the evening is the GFE: The Girl Friend Experience.

She is not just selling her body, here, she's selling her sexual interest in him. It shocks these poor wives to learn that their husbands were paying good money for stuff they didn't really mind doing at home -- and they can't understand why. The fact that a woman is willing to tend to his sexual needs in a way that flatters his masculinity and sense of self so much that many men experience an unadulterated surge of Alpha testosterone.

The core of the GFE is the sex act, of course -- but often this is limited to a long blowjob or even a lengthy handjob. So why does a man crave this bit of intimacy -- even with a stranger -- so badly he will sometimes risk everything to enjoy it? It's no secret why "sudden renewed interest in sex" is often listed as a sign your husband might be having an affair: a good GFE is like Popeye eating a can of spinach.

The Girl Friend Experience is just that: where a man pays a prostitute to act and behave the same way a new girlfriend does in the early-and-horny stage of infatuation.